Dear Home

Dear Home ~

You grew me. 18+ years and countless visits since. Eastern Iowa Country is in my bones. Clinton and Jackson County are where my foundation was built. I breath deeper and more relaxed each time I drive on a gravel road.

Gravel roads - the trouble I got into and out of on gravel roads - thank goodness the cows and corn can't talk.

Quiet - the kind of quiet that if you stop and listen is so noisy with birds and cows and pigs and horses, wind in the trees, and corn you can hear grow if you just stop and listen.

Family - I was lucky/blessed to grow up with 4 great grandparents, 1 great great aunt, 2 grandparents, 6 great aunts/uncles and way too many generational cousins to count within 45 miles from our home place. I didn't know until I was a teenager, this wasn't a normal experience for most.

Farm house - I was taught to read the paper. I was taught that responsibility meant doing my share and more. I knew that loyalty in our house was everything. I was taught to love and respect my neighbor. Without saying it expressly, I believe my parents taught me and my brother to be colorblind. EVERYONE deserved our love and respect regardless of color. No more, no less. We didn't judge someone unless they gave us a reason. I grew up knowing and believing that people were good.

Small towns - where everyone knew me and my family and "my business"and I felt loved. (and watched but that is a whole different conversation)

School -  My graduating class was 35. A dream I have for my own children would be to have less than 25 in one classroom.  And I think I went to school with 12 (or more) of those classmates for the full 13 years. There is a saying that goes something like "No one will ever know you like your friends when you were all 13." And I think that is so true. The friends I had then knew my most honest and secret self. We grew together, laughed together, made mistakes together and pushed the boundaries together. I lost (cancer) one of those friends, my best friend when we were 26 and that has partially caused me to drift from some of those other friendships because it still hurts that much. (again - a whole different conversation)

And there's more but I will repeat - this is where I was built. My heart and soul began its journey in a generational farm house on a gravel road in the country. I hope you can feel what that means to me as I call you to action.

Recent events have had me looking into the past. And by recent events I mean Covid-19 and the politicizing of a scientific pandemic, the murder of George Floyd and the continued politicizing of black bodies and BLACK LIVES MATTER and the reactions to these local and national events by my friends and acquaintances.

And since I'm looking back I'm asking myself the question 'Would I change any or all of it? My upbringing?' And as I'm examining that question I realize something. It's the wrong question. And really, it shouldn't be a question at all. You can tear down or change the foundation of a house (or system) but you can't do that with a life. With life all you can do is learn today and do better tomorrow. And whether we like it or not, sometimes that includes learning that we have some foundations to burn down.

My 'life after Home' has been a different experience. I left for college - Iowa State University GO CYCLONES!!! - and my world opened to different colors and ways to love. Some of this was by joyous and glorious luck. Some of it was by design. The friendships and relationships I have made since 1996 challenged me to be a better person. A better woman. A better advocate. A better ally.

While I was at Iowa State I relished in the fact that two of my closest friends were Asian. I inwardly thought 'Look at me! I'm so progressive! Not just a farm girl anymore!' After a time I also remember thinking (and saying) 'I forget that she is Asian! I'm just so colorblind.'  I never treated them differently or less than because I was a 'good and decent person.' But because I learn today and know better tomorrow I know that by not acknowledging their color/ethnicity I wasn't acknowledging the racism they still experienced.

After Ames I found home in Des Moines. The past 18+ years have not been similar to the first 18+. But they have seeped into the unfilled areas of my bones. There has been an addition to my foundation. And that addition has been built by me. Home gave me the foundation to be able to build my addition and I will forever be grateful and respectful of that.

Paved roads - I can get almost anything I need in 30 minutes or less. Two grocery stores are within 10 minutes (walking) of my house. And while I am walking I will see no less than 2 police cars patrolling to 'keep me safe.' Any trouble that I find on these roads won't be kept between me and the sidewalks. My trouble/mistakes may get me a warning. I can't say the same about my neighbors of color. While I haven't seen that kind of treatment/profiling/abuse with my own eyes the people I know have experienced it first hand. We live in the same city but our experiences are different. As my teenage boys go out into these streets on their own we talk about what it means to be a teenager. Individually they are proving to be responsible and stand out young men (with lots of time to still make mistakes). As a collective, they are teenagers and with that there are all kinds of connotations. They are kids with under-developed brains. They cause trouble. Heck - they look for trouble. Remember me and the gravel roads... Now we also talk about what it's like to be a black teenager. And while our conversations do cover the systemic racism their black friends may and do face we narrow in on how they are going to be an ally when and if they get stopped by the police and their black friend is singled out as the 'real' trouble maker of the group. Can they and will they speak truth to power. Will it matter?

Noise - traffic, neighbors, people walking by, ambulances, fire trucks, cops with their sirens. And some quiet too. I see the same clouds and feel the same breeze and hear the same birds. But I have to work harder.

Family - my family has gotten smaller. Time does that, of course. But change does that as well. Change came in distance, an addition of a husband and two kids and some of his extended family that lives in this area. And the friends that I have made have become a true extension of my family.

Big town - Des Moines isn't one of the biggest cities in the country but it's the biggest in Iowa. And I love it. And I chose Des Moines. I chose the diversity, I chose the schools, I chose the community. I chose the city. I didn't want the suburbs. I don't believe in being part of white flight and that is what suburbs were built on. And I know - that's a hard pill to swallow for some; I'm not here to help you swallow it. And I'm also not going to be holier than thou when it comes to my decision to live in the city. I've said things in the past like "I live in the Drake neighborhood [historically a black and run down neighborhood marred by violence] but I live in the good part of the Drake neighborhood." Because I learned today and I will be better tomorrow I know that what I was really saying was "Don't worry. I'm safe. All of my neighbors are white." That is part of systemic racism I didn't know was there. Because I wasn't saying black/white I wasn't being racist. But here's the thing - I WAS being RACIST AF. Racism is so systemic it is built into our language. Now I know. And I'm embarrassed. And I'm fragile. And I'm hurt. And it's uncomfortable. And I'm learning. I'm acknowledging and I'm accountable. I have that taken out of my vocabulary and there is more to find and dispose of.

School - My 2 boys go to a school that is so intimidating to me. The graduating class from their school is 501 students this year. IN ONE CLASS!! The district has approximately 2350 seniors that are graduating this year. One class, one district, 5 high schools.  They are not having my experience and I'm only seeing and experiencing part of theirs. And let's not forget the years that we have spent DEFUNDING EDUCATION. It's no wonder that DMPS spends over $1,000,000 on resource officers in the school. Give the schools back their teachers and we wouldn't need resource officers! Take a look at the system and see that it is reactionary instead of proactive. 'The kids have no respect - bring in the police to control them.' vs 'These kids have no respect - bring in more teachers so that can lower class sizes and have more time for each student to prevent them from failing the future.' This is an example of ways to DEFUND THE POLICE. Des Moines Public Schools are far from perfect, but it's home to my boys. The school is doing amazing things right now at educating the community and students about anti-racism.

What I have found is that both my foundational Home and my additional Home are more alike than they are different. I believe that out and proud (individual) racism exists in my foundational Home. I've seen it and heard it. I know it exists in my additional Home. I also believe that the more dangerous systemic racism is found in both communities. But I think it's easier to see here in Des Moines. You are going to have to try harder to see the flaws in the system when so often the system works for you. You are white. You are surround by a mostly white community. It seemingly doesn't affect you. Try harder. Try harder to see systemic racism. Try harder to understand someone else's experience. Try harder to see your privilege. Look harder at who is in charge - banks, companies, boards, presidents, etc. White people built the racist system because they could. You are participating in it because you are afraid that your privilege will be taken away. You are showcasing your white fragility. Admit that you are afraid. When you say "I don't see color" it's because you are afraid. Challenge yourself - "What if I did see color?" "Would I see that it matters?" I don't want color to matter. I don't want police officers to be labeled bad people. I don't want any of this. But in this moment in history it doesn't matter what I want. It doesn't matter what you want. The truth is that color does MATTER. The truth is that most cops aren't bad but the POLICE (system) are.

I have a story about TRUTH to share - When in the 4th grade, my son came home and told me that he could no longer run at recess. It was against the rules. This was a bit shocking, right. No running?? At recess?? I actually started to receive a couple of phone calls from other parents 'Can you believe this?!' 'They can't run at recess!' 'This is unacceptable!' 'I'm calling the principal to complain!' But here's the thing - No running at recess wasn't THE truth. It was definitely my son's truth. And he was mad and hurt. I didn't call the principal and complain. And I cautioned my friends from calling the principal and complaining. I listened more to my child and asked him some critical thinking questions. We discussed perspectives. We discussed versions of the truth. And the truth was that it was dangerous to play tag on the playground equipment - kids were getting hurt. So an area was being designated as a running/tag area. We have to believe peoples truths. I believed my sons truth and we talked through how to understand the whole truth. I have to believe you when you say cops are good. You have to believe me (and those who are shouting) when I say the POLICE (system) are bad. These things are both part of the whole truth and by having discussions and taking action we can move forward.

While I am not new to the idea of BLACK LIVES MATTER or ANTI-RACISM, I am a new to the idea of DEFUND THE POLICE. The first time I heard it was shocking. It definitely goes against the system in place. While learning about what exactly defunding the police meant in the last few days, I was also seeing quite a few of my friends in law enforcement or close to law enforcement proclaim all of the great things that the police do. And I want to say to all of you - NO. Now is not the time for that. If we again use the analogy of cops vs police, very few people believe cops are bad (there is absolutely a small fringe that wants anarchy. There will always be fringe... But the actual message and truth is more hopeful and helpful and safer). What you are hearing (F the POLICE! DEFUND THE POLICE! I HATE THE POLICE) is that the system is bad. And I don't love those words. They are explosive and provocative. I dated a police officer's son in high school. I have school mates who I respect and admire that have become police officers and love their communities. It is hard for me to hear those painful words and think about them. But I understand they are being spoken out of pain. I also understand they are being received in pain. That's hard. That's uncomfortable. But we can do hard things.

I'm calling you to action. I challenge you to see more truths in the world. I challenge you to not make this political or one-sided. Not for yourself, not for your individual 'I'm not racist' but for the collective. For the system of white oppression to be knocked down, white people have to be involved. All too often we are still the ones making all the decisions. Peace and love. And BLACK LIVES MATTER.

Resources & Perspectives:

White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo, PhD

8:46 Dave Chappelle

Ibram X. Kendi author of How To Be an Anti-Racist

Rioting and Looting

Good Ally vs Effective Ally

Defunding the Police (MPD150)
Defunding the Police (Critical piece on Camden, NJ)
Defunding the Police (Video of former Camden, NJ police chief)

Social Contract

Redlining of Des Moines

Quotes:

Will Smith -  "Racism isn't getting worse, it's getting filmed"

Maya Angelou - "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."

Michael Che - "...All lives matter. Really, semantics? That would be like if your wife came up to you and was like 'Do you love me?' and you're like 'Baby, I love everybody, what are you talking about?'"

Lazy day

Gratitude is riches, complaint is poverty. ~ Doris Day

As mentioned on Friday, Bennett went to Sam's house after school. While there they made plans for a sleep over last night! Bennett is continually thankful for his friends (Sam, Cam, & Fritz) and he is particularly thankful that he got to go on a sleepover. They played hours of Fortnight, watched 3 of the 4 Hunger Games movies and made lots of memories. When Chris picked him up this morning he smelled like blueberry waffles! He's wishing he could do that every Saturday/Sunday!! I am thankful he took a 3 1/2 hour nap this afternoon. I'm sure fun was had, but he was crabby this afternoon. At one point he got mad at me because I said he couldn't arrange another hang out with his friends 2 hours after he had just spent the last 18 hours with them. He went to his room to pout and ended up falling asleep.

I spent a lot of my day today reading two of my book club books and I am thankful have the time to do that. I definitely could have cleaned the bathroom or organized the shelves downstairs, but some leisure time was needed and appreciated! I got the book (Less by Andrew Sean Greer) for ClitsNotes done and got a huge start on the one (The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin) for BonBons and Books. Because of a scheduling conflict last week I have both this week!

Continuing on the theme of a lazy Sunday, Harrison is thankful for the day off. He didn't have to meet with his study group today and this was the first Sunday he didn't have soccer. He spent the day doing some homework, playing some Xbox and generally just lazing around.

Welcome to the weekend

Each day I am thankful for nights that turn into mornings, friends that turned into family, dreams that turned into reality, and likes that turned into love.

Today brought the last day of birthday celebrations for me. Claudia and Annabelle picked me up around 9:00 and we went and got coffee and then got our nails done. It was a great birthday present! I really can't be more thankful to have them in my life. It was a relaxing morning and it made me wish we could do it every Saturday morning!

Bennett is thankful for Get Air. He is planning to spend the night at Sam's this evening with Cam and Fritz, but the boys just couldn't wait to start the fun. Harrison is a fan of Get Air as well and so we loaded into the car and headed out. We met Fritz, Cam, Sam, Veda, Maggie, & Frances at the trampoline park and they jumped for an hour and a half. I left (Fritz's dad, Nate stayed) and did a little birthday shopping for Harrison so it turned out to be a successful afternoon for me too!

Harrison got asked to babysit for the Lorentzen's again and he very excited to do so. He loves those kids and because of the way I have taken care of them all their lives, it seems like they are even closer than cousins. He is very thankful that he is old enough to be able to babysit them on his own. And I know Claudia and Andy are thankful for him!

Because both of our kids we out of the house, Chris and I decided to do a last minute dinner date. We had a Louie's Wine Dive gift certificate that we have been wanting to use. I have been there lots of times with friends but Chris had never been so he's thankful to have checked that off his list. We had a nice time and the food was great. Chris thought our dinner portions were a little small (I had short ribs and he had chicken and dumplings) but it wasn't that big of a deal until the waitress brought me my dessert. The dessert was massive and actually made us laugh out loud. It was absolutely delicious and we could not get it all eaten.

White Chocolate Bread Pudding 😋

TGIF

We must find the time to stop and thank the the people who make a difference in our lives. ~ John F. Kennedy

I am continually grateful for those who work on elections. And currently, the top of that list includes the officials and volunteers that are working in Florida, Georgia and Arizona. Of course I want the final counts to be in the democrats favor (Stacey Abrams is a badass, Andrew Gilliam is amazing and Rick Scott needs to fall off the radar...) but I also truly believe that in races that are this close, they should do everything they can to get it right. And after weeks of attack ads, constant news coverage and assaults on my mailbox I just want this to be over. But there are really good people out there still working to make the system work and I am thankful. I aspire to be able to volunteer my time someday if needed.

Harrison is in a Language Arts class this year that has assigned some really tough and great books. They are currently reading and analyzing Fahrenheit 451. He loves it and has taken notice that he really enjoys the dystopian novel genre. He has 6 or 7 of them on his birthday/Christmas list! While discussing the book this morning, he said he was very thankful that we live in a world with books because it is weird and scary to read about a place that not only doesn't place value on books but also seeks to destroy them.

Bennett is thankful to have been able to go hang out at another friends house this afternoon/evening. He even ended up staying late and having pizza for dinner. I am thankful he has such a great group to surround himself with.

Christopher is thankful that it is Friday, Let's get this weekend started - first order of business - PIZZA!

Thirsty Thursday

If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share. ~ W. Clement Stone

Bennett has been waiting for 2 weeks to miss school today! He is a member Leaders of the Pride and this is a club at middle school that works on bringing school spirit and pride to all of their classmates. To be in the club, students need to demonstrate leadership in all areas and get signatures from all of their teachers and their parents to prove that they do the work everyday to be an exemplary student. Today this club got the opportunity to go to the Iowa Wild hockey game during school hours. They left on a bus at 9:00 and the game started at 10:30. From the pictures and videos that Bennett took it seems like they had a 'wild' time and he was very thankful to be able to go with his friends and get a day away from school. On a side note, the transition from the year-round calendar in elementary school to the tradition calendar has been fairly seamless, but this was a reminder that everyone needs a random break every once in awhile.

Harrison and I went winter coat shopping this evening. He has two giant winter coats so it really is being a bit privileged to think that he needs another one, but the truth is, neither of these coats fit in his locker! Definitely a first world problem to have... but we are going to donate one or both of his other coats to the Callanan Closet next week and we will both feel good about that. There are lots of kids/families at his school that have 'one use bias.' This is when you think that it is unnecessary to own things that only have one use. Why buy a coat when I can buy a blanket that I can wear as a coat, use as bedding and also use as a table cloth, etc.  This way of thinking is not wrong, especially when you have a very limited income. I'm very thankful that we are able to donate to the boys schools in lots of different ways and I am super thankful that my children are growing up knowing that people come from all walks of life and with that brings different perspectives on what is important. He didn't come home with a new coat as $220+ is out of our price range but we did get a good idea of his size and what style he likes. I found a coat on ll bean.com and it was 25% off. Bonus!!

After coat shopping we hit Target and Fresh Thyme. He knew we were getting honey crisp apples ($.99 a lb! Bonus!) at Fresh Thyme so he threw some caramel dip in the cart. I rarely say yes to that kind of thing, but it felt like a good treat for us all after dinner. He is thankful that I said yes and for the apples. Honey Crisp are also usually too expensive so it's a real treat when we can find them on sale.

Christopher is thankful for tater tots! I made a large pork roast at the beginning of the week and we have been switching up the sides all week to accompany the roast for dinner. Tonight was sweet potato fries for me and tater tots for the boys.

P.S. It's Thirsty Thursday - aka - water the plants day in the Neipert household! 😜

Wisconsin

I love hearing old songs I used to love. They're like memories you can always go back to.

I am thankful for Pandora music. I have several stations programed into the app and I stream them through my tv on Apple TV. One of my favorite stations is Throwback Dance Party. But tonight I was listening to The Beastie Boys Radio. I love listening to The Beastie Boys. I was never their biggest fan - I didn't love them nor hate them - just not always my thing. But, Kara adored and revered them. So it seems like we were always listening to them. And now, whenever I hear a particular song I am transported back in time to when my bestie and I were together, laughing and just being in the moment. The above quote could not be more true and more loved.

Harrison traveled to Plattville, Wisconsin (University of Wisconsin-Platteville) today for a math competition with 134 other students from around the metro. He seemed pretty excited, but the timing was a little bad. He had already missed most of Tuesday to go to honor band and now he missed the whole day today for this. Missing school isn't in the top 5 of Harrison's favorite activities. He gets a little stressed about being 'off schedule.' Regardless, he said that he had a good time but I could tell that he didn't have the experience he was hoping for. They had to take an individual test and he only got 1 out of 10. His friends all got 2, 3, or 4 correct. Harrison's personality is such that he doesn't have to be number one at everything, but coming in last is not an option he is fond of. I guess this can be said for most people, but he was pretty disappointed. At one point, dropping his accelerated math class was brought up. 😳 I know this is all part of his process, and honestly, it was and is part of mine, I just wish I was better at helping him through it. For the team competition, his group came out top of their bus. There was some redemption in that! And even though his trip wasn't as successful as he thought it would be he was still thankful for math. Thank goodness!

Christopher is thankful to get the last of the chili for his lunch. It's our 3rd pot of chili in the last 5 weeks or so. It's such a fall/winter staple and thankfully we all love it!

Bennett is thankful that he was able to step and help someone at school today. He said it was a small thing, but someone sitting next to him in art class needed a marker and had asked a friend to borrow one. The friend didn't act like much of a friend and Bennett offered his marker for the classmate to use. I am proud of Bennett. He has always been shy and especially when I am around. I would love to be a fly on the wall to see him in his 'natural environment!'

Tuneful Tuesday

Be thankful for the music-makers -- the people who lift their voices in joy. They make our world a more joyful, less silent place. 

Harrison is thankful for band. Today he spent 7 hours rehearsing for SCIBA Honor Band. This is the South Central Iowa Band Association and it's a pretty big deal. They had to try out in October and only 2 8th graders from Callanan Middle School made the band. And Harrison was the only one that made the top (blue) band. To say we are proud is an understatement. He said that he had a great day, made some new friends and learned a new musical interval called a tritone. They performed 4 songs for us and I actually got chills and teared up a bit when they played The Bonsai Tree by Julie Giroux. It was such a moving piece. I am thankful for their conductor this evening. Her name is Jennifer Williams (assistant director of bands at Ankeny High) and when she went through past selections of Blue Honor Band music, she noticed that the band had never played a piece by a woman composer. So she four pieces composed by four different women. Women supporting and fighting for women. YES!

Christopher is focused on the weather lately. He was very thankful that it was snowing in Minnesota and not Iowa. I think he is being premature in his thankfulness as we are forecasted to get an inch and a half by Friday. Boooooooo.

Bennett spent the afternoon at Fritz' house and even forgot about having to go to Harrison's band performance. He asked if he could stay until 6:45. Uh, no. That's missing dinner so even if we didn't have plans... tweens... But he is thankful for his friendships and the ability to go to his friends houses after school. I'll be honest, the extra 2 1/2 hours of quiet, alone time in the house was amazing!

Manic Monday

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough. ~ Melody Beattle

Slow news day in the Neipert household. I made meatloaf and baked potatoes for dinner so you could say that the day was amazing just because of... Mmmmm... meatloaf. Chris is thankful for Meatloaf Monday. And leftover Tuesday.

Bennett is thankful for Frances. She has been spending a lot more time inside as the weather has been cold and rainy off and on the last couple weeks. Which means extra cuddles for us all. And, I have seen a mouse in house on two separate occasions. Traps have been set and Frances knows it's here. She sits and stares at one of the registers and we also see her sitting and staring at the cabinets in the kitchen. Having an old house means having the occasional mouse. But, ick. Kill the mouse, kitty. Kill the mouse.

Harrison is thankful for having the chance to go to a school where he feels valued. Today was scheduling day for the 2019 - 2020 school year. FRESHMAN YEAR. Omg, I'm going to lose my mind. How is this happening?? Anyway, during directed study (fancy name for study hall) a junior came in and answered the students questions. Harrison really appreciated the fact that he came out and really paid attention to each question they had. So cool.

I'm thankful for my boys. They are sitting at the table with me and that are working on birthday cards for little Harrison. He turns one tomorrow and these cards are sure to be keepers. Bennett is working on a pencil portrait of little Harrison and my Harrison is doing one of his famous acrostic poems. Love, love.

Sunday Funday

When a person doesn't have gratitude, something is missing from his or her humanity. ~ Elie Wiesel

Planning for this week has been a little more interesting than most. Harrison misses two consecutive days of school and one of those days takes him out of state. With the weather changing there is the added stress of having enough clothing without overburdening him with TOO MUCH STUFF! And Bennett misses a day of school as well. Busy tween/teens.

Bennett is thankful for breakfast at Smokey Row this morning. And frankly, he should be! HA! Harrison & I were getting ready to go to Smokey Row - him to do homework and me to plan for the week when Bennett said "I want to go too!" Now, this is understandable, but not really what we were planning for. Bennett didn't want to bring his book, he had no homework and was basically just there for the food. He has a long habit of wanting to tag along anywhere there is going to be food. (That's an insider tip on how to become his best friend.) He said he still wanted to go and that he would bicycle home. I wasn't super hip on this as it was cold and rainy. But he got all layer up and told me he would be fine and blah blah blah, I conceded. The one thing he forgot was gloves. Chris said when he got home, he couldn't even feel his hands. Lesson learned for him. And he also got a bubble bath out of the deal. Pampered babe. Breakfast out and a spa day. My kind of Sunday. I didn't get a picture of the spoiled one, but I did get a couple studious photos of the teenager. If I could just freeze time...

Saw me with the camera

Analysis of Fahrenheit 451

Harrison had his last soccer game of the season today. They lost 3 -1 to a very tough (and overly aggressive) Knoxville team but it was really fun to watch them play. This is the first year Harrison has played with this coach, Mark Hollister, but he has been playing with 5 of the guys for over 4 years (two of them for 6 years). He is thankful to be part of such a fun group.

Northwest U16

Bennett & I watched the game from the comfort of my warm van and I am very thankful for that. It was cloudy, 41 degrees and very windy. Chris sat out on the sidelines for the first half (40 minutes) and then came into the van to warm up. He never went back out!

Election Day for the midterms is coming up on Tuesday and Chris is thankful for the opportunity to vote (out the Republicans) and also for the constant ads to stop. They are non-stop this year. They always are, but when it comes down to crunch time and you have seen the adds over and over already, it really is enough to make you pull out your hair. It takes a lot of deep breathing and remembering to be thankful that we even have the opportunity to vote.

Bohemian Rhapsody

The more you are in a state of gratitude, the more you will attract things to be grateful for.  ~ Walt Disney

A full on cold and rainy day for Des Moines today. Thankfully, we had a movie planned for the afternoon and "YEAH" cleaning for the morning. I promised Harrison that once we got the general house chores done we would get his room deep cleaned and rearranged. A few weeks ago, my parents brought up a 'new to Bennett' bed frame so Bennett's room was deep cleaned and rearranged and ever since, Harrison has wanted his room done. It feels so good to get a room really clean and after it's been rearranged it looks almost new. Harrison is really happy with it and thankful for my help. While Harrison and I were attending to his room, Bennett got his drawing case out and worked on a pencil drawing of a koala. He is thankful for his drawing time and his drawing case.

After lunch, Harrison went to the mall with some of his friends. This was his first 'trip to the mall' and it cracked Chris and I up because it is just such a teenager thing to do. We will see if this becomes a thing or not. Another thing that Harrison was thankful for was the Chick-Fil-A that he got while at the mall. That is a place that we usually steer clear of for moral and political reasons, but I do agree with Harrison - "They have great chicken!"

Chris, Bennett and I headed to Old Navy - Bennett was in need of some jeans that did not have giant holes in the knees. We were lucky to get him outfitted with a couple pairs but we were unlucky to have to stand in the checkout line for 20 minutes. Boy there were a ton of people shopping today!

The movie that we choose to see was Bohemian Rhapsody. It is the 'based on the true story' story of Queen and specifically, Freddie Mercury. It was hard not to love the movie. The music is obviously spectacular and the story was sad but wonderfully told. I think they took some liberties with how some of the narrative went, but that's the movies. Overall, it was great and we would highly recommend it to anyone. Christopher and I were both thankful that we got to see it and that it was on the ok side of PG-13 for Bennett to see. It's nice to expand our family movie outings beyond the cartoons!

Friday

The best team isn't the team with the best players, but the team that plays the best together.

The forecast was spot on as we woke up to rainy skies this morning. And most of the day has been cloudy. It totally feels like soup weather which is why there was a big pot of chili on the stove this evening!

Being an Iowa State Alum, I often get promotional offers via email. A couple of months ago, I received an email stating that Naz Mitrou-Long would be playing for his team (Salt Lake City Stars) when they came to Wells Fargo to play our local Iowa Wolves. We got tickets because 'IT'S NAZ!" and I asked our friends, The Seitz's to join us as well. Jamie wasn't able to attend but Scott and 3 of their kids (Ella, Cam & Maggie) joined us. Since it is the season home opener for the Wolves there was extra excitement at the game. They had 3 different dance teams perform during the quarter breaks and at half time Sergey and Sasha of America's Got Talent fame performed. They are a crazy acrobatic father/daughter duo who are amazing. It was a fun show to watch for sure. Bennett (going to the game), Harrison (Dippin Dots) & Chris' (funnel cake) thankfulness all came from the game tonight. A good time was had by all!!

Dippin' Dots all around

Cam getting a noogie from Alpha

Alpha, Cam & Bennett

The big bummer of the night was that Naz wasn't there. Sad, sad face. In his defense, he has put in a lot of hard work and got called up to the Utah Jazz so congrats to him! That is also where Georges Niang plays so they are teammates once more. Last year when we went to see this game, Niang was there and that was amazing. It's just really fun being a Cyclone and celebrating the athletes that are making it in the big time. This game was fun as well, but the joy of watching a Cyclone alum was definitely missing. I don't love G-League basketball. College hoops is my go to for a great game (of course that doesn't include how wrong I feels the NCAA treats players, but that is a whole different conversation). G-League games often seem like individual showboating to get noticed for that big NBA call up. And I understand that but, it doesn't always make for the great of basketball. Tonights game was pretty good though. The Wolves got their bums handed to them by a talented Stars team, but ya can't win em all.

My thankfulness comes from one of my littles today. Harrison Booth is almost 1 and he is just learning to walk. In the last couple of days he has made some real strides (pun intended). It is so cute to watch the way he side steps, gives up, tries again, etc. I am so thankful that I get to see him work through this next step of his life. It makes me want to go find a couple of videos of H & B taking their first steps. #weekendgoals

Thankful

Be happy for what you have while working for what you want.  ~ Helen Keller

I continue to be thankful everyday for the people and joy around me. Honestly, the political climate is really wearing and everyday some new challenge arises that both shocks me and makes me sad. I am extra thankful to again be doing my thankfulness blog this year because it will be a daily reminder of what we can all be thankful for and it can bring hope to my soul. Maybe I can keep the blogging up all year... maybe.

Today was supposed to be a full day as it started early and was supposed to end late. Harrison had to be at school early for Jazz Band and then Bennett had swim from 6:45 - 7:45. Harrison also had study group for math at his friend, Ella's so he was there after school until 6:15pm. He is thankful for math because it is useful in everyday life. I'm not sure the math he is currently doing is useful to anyone, but I am proud of him and he loves it so onward to more math I no longer understand. I had a hair appointment at 4:20pm and it lasted until 7:00pm and then I did the grocery run. So Chris had drop off and pick up duties as well as dinner duties (let's be honest - I had dinner ready for them). But their night ended a little bit earlier because the Roosevelt pool sprung a leak and they are currently trying to get that under control.

Bennett is thankful for Halloween. I mean - look at that guy. What's not to be thankful for??

Skittles Pox

Des Moines has a tradition of Beggar's Night and there are two very unique attributes to this tradition. Number one - trick-or-treating is done on October 30th. Always. This is because in 1938 the city received a record number (550) of vandalism calls and they said enough! The idea was that October 30th would be set aside for children to go door to door trick-or-treating, but only if they had a trick or funny they could share with the person handing out the candy. Thus became the 2nd part of the tradition in Des Moines - What is your trick-or-treat joke? This year, Bennett's was 'Why did the bird go to the hospital? It needed a tweetment.' The jokes are always real knee-slappers!

Chris is thankful for the weather we have been having the last couple weeks. It has been pretty glorious. I think that we have had the house open after 10:30am everyday. It's cool and crisp in the morning and evening but the middle part of the day has been sunny and 62 degrees. Pretty sure that ends today though. Rain and highs in the low 50's are what's in store for the next few days and then highs stay in the upper 40's for awhile. Time to make some more soup!

November 21

Be an encourager. The world has plenty of critics already.

I am thankful for Annabelle. I told my families that I would be ending my 'career' as a stay-at-home mom/childcare provider in June. Annabelle has gotten wind of this and it has put all of our interactions in a new light for her. Today, she was invited to go to her friend's (Maggie) for the afternoon and she really wrestled with whether or not to spend the day with me because our days are numbered or to go to her friends. Bless her sweet heart. I am more than grateful for my time with Annabelle (and her brothers) and I know that we will continue to make time in our schedules for special girl dates. I love her sweet nature and kind heart. I will forever be grateful that I had a hand in influencing her future.

Christopher is thankful for

Harrison is thankful for getting to see the movie Wonder. It was such a good movie and I really enjoyed it.

Bennett is thankful for getting to go to SkyZone with Parker and Miles.

November 20

Be grateful for all you have, but never settle for less than you can be

I am thankful for the dish washer. I spend a lot of my day doing dishes because I use so many more than once a day for the littles. I try to use the dishwasher at the right time so that I have the clean dishes when I need them. That often seems like more work than it is worth. But, when I do remember, it is so so nice to just put them in there and voila, they are clean. For me this is a luxury and one I do not take for granted.

Christopher is thankful for

Harrison is thankful for the nations National Parks. They are beautiful and I love that our country protects them and the animals that live in them.

Bennett is thankful for his buddy Sam. We got to go to a movie, Justice League and then play together this afternoon. It was fun.

Cardinal and Gold

We think we have to do something to be grateful or something has to be done in order for us to be grateful, when gratitude is a state of being. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

I am thankful for our long awaited trip to the Des Moines Art Center.  There is a new, interactive exhibit and it was worth the wait. (I didn't want to fight the crowds when it first opened) The exhibit is called Drawing in Space and two artists and one artist collective came in to the center and created art using tape. The boys favorite is pictured above. The piece is created using packing tape and is really quite amazing. Check it out before it is gone on January 21.

Christopher is thankful for a one day work week.

Harrison is thankful that he got to see Georges Niang tonight. (Niang, former ISU player, plays for the Warriors G League, the Santa Cruz Warriors and they were in town to play our Iowa Wolves. It was ISU Alumni night and we had a great time.)

Bennett is thankful to go to the Iowa Wolves game.

November 18

You gotta look for the good in the bad, the happy in your sad, the gain in your pain, and what makes you grateful not hateful. ~ Karen Salmansohn

I am thankful for the Fall Farmer's Market. The boys and I sampled many good treats and I got three people checked off of my Christmas list! Thank goodness for 'buy local!'

Christopher is thankful for pain meds. They help me to walk.

Harrison is thankful for caramel apples. They are delicious.

Bennett is thankful for getting to go to the farmer's market. I got a dutch letter and they are awesome.

November 17

I am grateful for what I am and have. My Thanksgiving is perpetual. ~ Henry David Thoreau

I am thankful for pie pumpkins from my mom. I'm getting them roasted and in the freezer for use in pumpkin bread all winter long.

Christopher is thankful that it is less than a week away from Thanksgiving.

Harrison is thankful for the end of the school week. Welcome to the weekend and ready for a break.

Bennett is thankful for seeing my friends at school today. They are nice.

Prompt

Gratitude is a powerful process for shifting your energy and bringing more of what you want into your life. Be grateful for what you already have and you will attract more good things.  ~ The Secret

The kids are struggling a bit with the thankfulness. We are getting some repeats and some answers are giving with no real thought behind them because they have more important things to do than take a couple minutes to think about what they are grateful for. Also, sometimes they are searching for just the right answer and then they get frustrated. That's not what this exercise is supposed to be about, obviously. So starting today, I am going to give them a prompt question. They can choose to answer that question or choose something else they would like. We will see how this works!

Prompt: What smell are you grateful for?


I am thankful for chai tea latte. I have recently been making them at home and they are the perfect afternoon pick-me-up yet they are also make me feel cozy and warm.

Christopher is thankful that college basketball started last week.

Harrison is thankful for the smell of fallen leaves because it make me think of autumn.

Bennett is thankful for the smell of flowers. They smell good.

Emma is grateful for the smell of cinnamon. It is my favorite smell!

November 15

Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful thorns have roses. ~ Alphonse Karr

I am thankful for sunny days spent at the skate park. In reality, I am trying very hard to be thankful for sunny days at the skate park. I don't like skateboarding... I rearranged a couple of things so that I could take Bennett, Miles, Drew and Jake to the skate park this afternoon. They love it and I think they could be there forever. They work so hard at trying out new things/tricks and I admire their commitment. And it was cute watching them when another, older skater came over. They are not obnoxious but they do hover a little and eventually got to know him and asked him some questions about 'how he did that'. I love their gumption and courage. So I guess I don't have to work that hard on being thankful for skateparks. :)

Christopher is thankful that the work week is half over.

Harrison is thankful for no clubs this afternoon. I am sad Mock Trial is over, but it is nice to have a free afternoon.

Bennett is thankful for early outs. We got to go to the skatepark.

Miles is thankful that we went to the skatepark today. I wanted to work on my skateboarding moves.

Annabelle is thankful for her culminating event. I am glad that it went well.

Rocco is thankful for seeing Rocky. I like that we are friends.

Rocky (with prompting from Rocco) I am thankful that Rocco is my best friend. I love playing with him.

Felix is thankful for going downstairs. I love to go downstairs to play Legos with Rocco and my best friend Rocky.

November 14

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. Marcus Aurelius  

I am thankful for Christmas decorations. It's so silly. I love Thanksgiving time. The thoughtfulness, the food, the getting together of family. But this year, I have just been so any to get out my Christmas decorations. I haven't, yet, but I didn't buy a new banner at a cart fair last week and I bought a new Christmas pillow and cute little bird with a red plaid hat yesterday at TJ Maxx. And I have all of those things displayed already. Just a sneak peak into the joy and warmth of the season. Now maybe some snow ❄️ ⛄️?

Christopher is thankful that Beth made more turkey meatballs.

Harrison is thankful for math. You can't go wrong with math.

Bennett is thankful for school. I learn in school and learning is fun.

Miles is thankful for piano. I am so ready for my recital.

Annabelle is thankful for piano. I memorized my song and I feel that I am prepared for my recital.

Rocco is thankful to be going to piano. I can show Mrs. H how good I have been doing.

Felix is thankful for his bear gloves and his library books. Grrrrrrr.